Discordian Texts

These are all graphics free, so you won't have to wait! Those of you who prefer waiting, can click the link, then close your eyes and count slowly to twenty. Those with slodems can count to fifty. When you open your eyes, it will be done! If you have knowledge of a text file that has to be listed here, just let me know!

First, here is a whole bunch of Funny Things from around the Internet. You may have seen some of them before. (5/6/99)
Credited as a graduation speech by Kurt Vonnegut, Wear Sunscreen was originally written by Chicago columnist Mary Schmich.
Finally the evidence we need linking two famous Assassinations once and for all.
The theory of male behavior, as told by Newt Gingrich.
Did you know how unspeakably evil the Discordian Movement is?
Who better to explain computers than Dr. Seuss?
Back from the mists of Time, is E. A. Poe's Abort, Retry, Fail?
Next up is a very short story called Naked Truth. Written by Sam Potter, it has been copyrighted, so if you steal it, please give him credit.
A list of Stupidity Sightings.
An argument for Being a Girl vs. Being a Guy. Included is the rebuttal.
Here are Important and True Facts that everyone needs to know.
We have a new Theology/Toys comparison to go with the old Theology/Shit Happens.
There's also the Weirdness Test. How many would YOU answer as "F?"
Some poetry in the Eve of Midwinter devoted to Our Lady.
For all you nincompoops out there who want to bypass the wonderful random Inspiration generator, here are all of the quotes. Each line is an individual quote. (5/6/99)
You can also get the whole index of the text files folder.