Why Maui Hawaii? - Part 2

7. "Hi...I'm Bob, and I'll be your holdup man tonight..." I forget which movie it was in, but I remember the scene...our hero standing in line at an ATM at midnight...actually there were two lines...one for the bank customers trying to get cash out of the machine and the other line was made up masked robbers politely waiting their turn to rob their victim in the other line. Funny scene. However...that's not us. It's safe here...for the most part...you can walk around at night...you can stop at an ATM...you can feel safe in your Mustang convertible full of laughing family members reliving your ridiculous hula dance on stage at tonight's luau as you sit at the stoplight and smell the plumeria in the air. On the other hand you are surrounded by human beings, so you can't take the idiot pill and try to bully your way past the line or leave your pile of hundred dollar bills on the table when you go to the restroom. But it's safe and clean and the people are nice. You can relax from the moment you unpack until the moment you hit security on the way out of Maui. You're safe...isn't that a nice feeling.

8. Hawaiian People...actually local people...are the nicest people in the world. If you can make a connection you will have a relationship that can last a lifetime. They are intelligent but simple if that makes sense. They are full of heart and not head. They are humble even while they possess great skills. They love fully and smile constantly...well, not when a tourist tries to bust their ...ummm...balloon (cleaned up for any Amish that might be secretly reading this) but seriously, of all the great things Maui has to offer nothing compares to the local people...not even close...what an amazing race of people.

9. No B.S. Reps Running Around. You know the guy...no matter how you dress him up and teach him new words he's always selling you something...sizing you up to see if you're a client or a waste of time...yeah...we booted him and all of his friends off the island...some made it over to Oahu, but you won't find the B.S...or the frantic Blackberry or Blueberry or whatever it is that drives us to maximize our time and complete our lists...ahhhhhhh...that was me jumping off the cliff...you'll find a great deal of authenticity and people who will meet your eye contact and return your smile and hello. Remember my plea earlier to relax and enjoy...simple, happy, authentic, beautiful...ahhhh...the list of Paradise...

10. It's a foreign culture. This is an island nation that is full of polynesia. When I got married my neighbor, old Mr. Medeiros took me up into the hills above Nahiku and we hunted with his pack of scarred dogs and I carried down the mountain the pig I served at my wedding luau reception the next day. My Hawaiian friends helped me find rocks that wouldn't explode for the imu and cut banana stalks to cover the pit. My wife's sisters made lomi lomi salmon and squid luau from a couple of big tako that my teenage sons had caught that morning diving with their slings. We wrapped in tin foil and threw into the fire breadfruit we picked from Bully Hoopai's land the day before. My niece danced hula halfway thru the party while our family beamed with pride, and then hours later we wept when my granddaughter and her friend in the same halau got up without shame and danced another song as we sat around the fire and talked story. We wore leis that people had made with their own hands. We ate fish that someone had caught with a throw net. My best man was the number two seat in my canoe...and because of my big bottom I got teased and put into the number four seat. The lead singer in the band weighed four hundred pounds without apology and played the ukulele while he sang our favorite Iz and Gabby songs. My best friend showed up with his surfboard still wet and his two giant brindle dogs in his pickup truck and nobody thought it strange for a wedding. It's the most amazing blend of cultures held together by the Hawaiian values of aloha and giving.

We hope you come. We hope you make some local friends and come back many times over the years. E Komo Mai.

Dr. Sidney Swartz's office number is 808-555 5555

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