I hear it all the time. I hear sufers preaching their "righteous views" to other people. Stupid. They're usually hypocrites.

I pride myself on being on being as objective and open-minded as possible and yes, I too am sometimes a hypocrite but aren't we all? If you said no then chances are you just proved it to yourself :p But hey, at least you might now realize it! That's a good thing! What I notice about many surfers and their elitist (yes, elitist!) attitude is that it's ok for them to preach about their views as they are obviously the only correct ones on earth *gag*. There are many types of people like these from all walks of life but I will focus on surfers as I am one and have had unfortunately, much experience with this. This includes spongers (bodyboarders) as well. I will attempt to explain the reasons why.

I hear surfers constantly talking about how we all have to protect the oceans and "save da aina" or save the earth. I know a few surfers that actually do help and are active, like me, in programs that do indeed help to save the oceans and earth. I am part of the Surfrider Foundation and donate regularly, I recycle my cans and bottles, I use whenever possible, non-toxic and/or biodegradable fluids/materials, I drive an LEV vehicle, I use CFL lights everywhere etc etc etc. It's not much but I am doing my part. What I don't get is that for many surfers, it is only an act. They say these things to promote themselves when in reality, they are no better than any other non-responsible citizen. They drive beater ass vehicles that spew out smoke and spill oil, they throw their rubbish out the window-on the ground, they do not properly dispose of their old busted bodyboards/surfboards and throw them away at the dump!!!! Those things are made out of chemicals!!! Especially old-school style Poly-U boards and bodyboards. What's the matter with these people?

Another one I love is the whole Be kind to others bit. Surfers always try to portray themselves as laid back, cool, and/or kind and reserved. They speak just a little slower than everyone else and are always smiling (we surfers are probably a bit happier than most people :p) and telling jokes and such. That all tends to change once in the water. I see it quite often. You talk to a dude in the parking lot about how good it looks and he's cool, you're cool, everyone's cool. You paddle out and one of you eventually accidentally gets in the other's way and it's all about yelling and cussing and threatening. Whatever happened to be kind to others? Whatever happened to "i'm sorry, brah. my mistake" and "it's ok man, no harm done. Please try to watch out for me". Ya know? I am more than ready and capable of totally messing someone up in and out of the water using my fists and/or a plethora of active and passive weapons however, That's not my style :p. Wouldn't it save everyone a whole lot of trouble if everyone just fricken relaxed? Why so uptight? Why are there so many jackasses surfing? It's all about riding waves and having fun. If a surfer is intentionally being a jerk and preventing someone from having fun then again, he/she is being a jerk and guess what? It goes back with a vengeance. That might explain why they are jerks, though. They are possibly stuck in a paradox of their own discontent.

The final one, the one that most surfers are not aware of is "The ocean is for everybody". HAHAHAHAHAH! Apparently NOT. If "The ocean is for everybody" then why do these same people complain about everyone else especially stand ups and longboarders? The ocean is for everyone, RIGHT? Also, I love how people that are against the super ferry are saying things like "they cannot take away our wave" (in reference to the harbor ban during superferry operation). "why should we have to stop surfing when it comes in?". I'll tell you why. It's because of something you said. The ocean is for everybody. NOT JUST YOU. Stop being so damned selfish. The harbor breaks what.........two times a year? Get over it and stop being hypocrites. The world is not going to end because you cannot surf that spot for 2 hours. Wait.....then jump in again. If the conditions get crappy then OH WELL. Move on. Why do surfers constantly act like drug addicts. Oh wait :p The ocean is for everybody, indeed. Everybody except......well, everyone else, it seems! Surfers. The superferry is not a bad thing. It's not a good thing. It's just a thing. Just like a gas station. just like young brothers, just like your cell phone. It's just............a thing. If you want to complain then please, look at yourselves first.

This can be said for everyone. Look within before you express your views and opinions and for the love of pete, don't act like monkeys. That does not get anyone anywhere. Look at what happened in Kaua'i and their superferry. People got arrested and now because of THEIR actions, the surfing and small craft ban in our harbor has been instated. Why don't you blame the people of Kaua'i? I tell you why. You're scared. You're scared you're gonna get beat up by Kauaians, ah? All-panty. Please send your kids to the best schools possible. Give them a better chance.

Lets raise awareness for the *Local Intelligence Quotient and Maui Enrichment program or what I like to call LIQ-ME. Start today!

*program doesn't exist but was made up for comical reasons

Now, please. If you're a surfer and take offense to this then GOOD. It means i've gotten your attention but instead of beating on things and re-enacting the beginning of 2001, think about it. Think about yourself and what you can do to be better. If you want things to be better you absolutely have to start with yourself. You can't make a huge fart without previously eating something like beans right? OK that analogy stinks. Wow........that pun came outta nowhere. But yes that analogy stinks. Let me try again. *thinks*

Ahhh! You cannot become a good surfer without learning from your mistakes, perservering, having determination and courage and using your mind in harmony with that which you are doing. Such is life. I know i know "but why the hell is HE preaching?" Hmmm probably because I used to be all these things I hate. I am probably still a littlebit of each but compared to how I was just five years ago, I am Mother Theresa.

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.....cept i'm not a nun or whatever...

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.....and i'm a dude...


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.......but I do love Cannonball Run 2.




The End